With Everything

I find myself in the same place again, the familiar scent and taste of the rough, the funk. Listening to “With Everything” by Hillsong and reading an article on Relevantmagazine.com, I have reached this place of needing God to do the supernatural in my life. Much of my life story revolves around His faithfulness in delivering me from nonsense that honestly can’t be explained how it even got there. Approximately 5 years ago, my heart was torn and my life turned upside-down. I asked God to tear me apart, to break me down and make me the person that He wants me to be. He did exactly that. But I asked for more than I could handle. I didn’t understand why Christ would allow me to go through what I went through. In fact, I still don’t. But I have rest in the peace that through those turn of events, He has led me to where I need to be today. Today is just a regular day so the previous statement isn’t followed up by a great testimony. However, in my head, my heart, I know there’s a testimony being written, one that I may not comprehend or read until I meet my Savior.

Through these years, Christmas has been the hardest. It’s the season that everyone is supposed to be joyous because of the gifts, love and laughter. I’m not a scrooge in any sense but it is definitely a hard season to go through once again in emotional unease. The year of 2009 could be described by several distinguishable events; Huge Turbine Outage that cost well over $10Mil, New Church Plant, Traveling band, a new old house in the heart of Uptown New Orleans and 3 relationships that did not quite work out. Somehow, reflecting upon these, the obvious is that the positives outweigh the negatives. But 3 relationships? Ones that no one knows of because I’m not the type of person who likes to share a good news unless I know for sure that it’s a definite. Call it guarding my privacy, but I rather shed the light of Christ that it’s the centrality of my pride. It’s humiliating. Granted these relationships still mean a lot to me and they each dwell under my friends list on Facebook. But for the most part, the most significant downturn is the unchangeable, undeniable reason that I am who I am. So the question then leads to who am I? Is being a child of God not enough in this society? Is being a professional Engineer in a well-renown utility plant not enough? Is being a “father” to many under my leadership in Lifegroup not enough? How much more can the world ask for?

Sitting here again, I’m embracing the thought of going through yet another wintery Christmas by myself. Not physically since I do have some friends and family but thoroughly emotionally and mentally. I honestly don't give a damn because it's not about me anyway. This year has been draining for those 2 aspects of my life. But I am reminded greatly that Jesus is my God and His majesty deserves ALL my praise despite how drained or poured out I am. Life is unfair. It treated Christ the same way with it’s cruelty. In the words of Misty Edwards on how the world has tagged her, I found an inspiration, a motivation to keep crawling on these bloody knees.
“My focus is to go deep in the Word of God; live in the First Commandment, which leads to the Second; stay faithful in the place of prayer; fast more; give more; and live the Sermon-on-the-Mount lifestyle to the highest degree, even in my weakness. I know I am going to die one day, and the only real definition of who I am will come from the lips of Him who searches my heart.”

Taming the beast

Just a quick note. Gustav was not even the beast here in New Orleans (Thank God). But I do have to admit part of my adrenaline-junkie was a little disappointed. Nonetheless, I'm appreciative of us being spared from its wrath. Thanks to all who kept me and my crew in their thoughts and prayer. Ike then threaten NOLA a little but was definitely aiming for Houston. Deja Vu of Katrina and Rita.

I'm sick of talking about the storms. Looking forward to the Fall season. The weather is already cooling down and I'm loving every minute of it with my windows rolled down.

However, since the storm, there's this other beast that has emerged it's ugly head in the surface of my life. It's the beast that many would have names such as matters, situation, mood, negativity, problems, etc. I have come to learned this week that I have allowed it to define who I am and how I react to my days. The moment I allow it to dwell around for a moment, it is when I see it engulf my entire day to slug. I have to constantly renew my mind by reminding myself how great the day is and not allow it to bring me down. It's a tough feat when I'm constantly battling crap at work, relationships, my house hunting situation, and my company. It's also another dejavu of how my life was approximately a year ago. I do feel myself spread thin and I'm starting to lose sight of the quality of life.
I can vividly remember how it was like right after Katrina. Have I improved since then. Maybe. But I'm gonna fight harder against this beast. It's a matter of perspective and mind. It takes initiative. I have to intentionally desire to win over it.

This past 2 weeks' score is Edmund 0 : Beast 2. Watch for a come back for week 3. I'm about to tear it apart!!!!!

Arrival of Hurricane Gustav

What a night. It was considerably peaceful compared to Katrina. All night long, we were fighting to keep both of the large units on (1500MW Total). These units are some of the main supplier to the New Orleans Metro area. Around midnight, we were ordered to placed all units on Oil. This is because all gas lines are shut off coming in from the Gulf during hurricane threats. For an hour or so, I was helping some of the operators and maintenance personnel to swap out the gas guns with the oil guns. We managed to keep both units on.

I was awakened by the howling of the wind at about 8:30am eventhough I worked all night. But this gave me a good opportunity to capture some of the footage above. Maximum winds were approximately 110 mph in some of the heavier squalls out over the water according to our gauges. We just might have dodged the bullet. But is the worst over?

Hurricane Gustav Pre-Landfall Sunday 8-31-08

Mandatory Evacuation as of Sunday 8-31-08. Streets were empty. Uptown felt like a Ghost Town as I rode in to work. Storm Clouds footage were taken on top of the boiler tower around 7:30PM. Started storming around 7:50PM.

Hurricane Gustav - Prediction of Cat 5

Just finished loading up the trailer along with my fellow Vintage Brethrens with water and relief supplies. They will be heading out tomorrow for the Northshore. I love the hearts of these guys. Rob Wilton, pastor and friend, after saying goodbye to his wife and newborn son who are safe in South Carolina now, only has one thing on his mind... "How can we get back in time to help out the Uptown community?" This is why I am in New Orleans with these guys. 

Just to let you guys know, I will be reporting in to my power plant at 6:30PM tomorrow and will be on duty during the storm. It is predicted to hit Monday. Mandatory evactuation has been called. Apparently this is the "Mother of all storms" according to Mayor Ray Nagin. 

I will be keeping an update through my twitter updates (SMS Text). 

Thanks for your prayers and God bless New Orleans.